Q&A + Meditation Recording N.1
In your last newsletter, you mentioned something about thinking as a way to soothe ourselves and this really hits me. Can you speak more about this?
Thoughts are a form of expression. Often, in spiritual practices, we'll find information that almost puts us in opposition with thoughts, in an internal war. To me this is particularly unhelpful given we all spend a lot of time entertaining them all day long. So to start, I like to think that thoughts are a way to communicate something, when repetitive maybe it’s a ways to communicate what is uncomfortable like fear, worry, anxiety, etc. In Buddhist Psychology, we understand thoughts as mental states that come with a lot of stories attached to it and could be divided into 3 main groups: Anger/Aversion, Grasping/Desire and Doubt/Delusion. In simple words, they create the following narrative internally:
I really don't like this / I hate this.
I want more of this / I need this.
I don't know what this is.
These 3 groups/versions are basically how we spend a lot of time hooked in our internal conversations. From the Buddhist Psychology perspective these are considered hindrances and an antidote to work with them is first to get to know their presence. Not as a burden but as a way our bodies are trying to say something to us, which, often is where the repetition of thoughts steams from: our lack of pause/availability to listen to what’s present within us.
Excessive thinking can generally be a response to a childhood where we were really criticized and had to overanalyze everything we did just to feel we could be accepted or get a sense we weren't going to get in trouble or cause trouble. As a strategy we might develop this tendency to overanalyze/think about every step we take in order to avoid receiving criticism or to try to get acceptance. To have and maintain some control.
Overthinking here becomes a soothing strategy to try to accommodate the needs of others or a way to protect against criticism or the discomfort of feeling not fully accepted or out of control.
By thinking a lot, we trick ourselves to not actually have to feel the thing we are scared about: disapproval, criticism, not acceptance. We work really hard to predict, control and anticipate in order to avoid those difficult emotions, like fear, anger, resentment, worry.
If we consider thought as a form of expression and not the enemy, when there is overthinking we can understand as a signal that there's something uncomfortable we are avoiding to feel in our bodies and we are working hard in "trying to protect" ourselves by staying hooked in the thinking level.
I'd explore with questions like:
When I'm in overthinking mode, what am I trying to anticipate? fix or control?
When I'm overthinking, what is it that I'm unwilling to feel in my body?
What could be helpful for me to allow my thoughts to be more spacious?
a walk? a conversation with a friend? silence? sweat?
What happens when I feel I can allow myself to be more in my body than in my thought level? What do I notice?
Perhaps you can use answer these questions after you meditate using the recording below.
MEDITATION RECORDING
A few instructions:
Find yourself in a quiet place
Sit as you feel most comfortable, you can either use a couch, bed, chair or the ground. Find a posture that helps you stay awake but relaxed
Eyes can be fully closed or you can have your gaze pointed on a point near you on the ground
Take your time to transition back into your tasks and responsabilities
Thank you!
Mari
