Q&A + Meditation Recording N.4
A reader's question on transition + an inner strength meditation practice
Question:
I’m thinking about starting over. To find a different new path which probably would involve a change in my career as well. When I think about this I immediately feel paralyzed. I’m in my late 40’s and can hear the pressure and the disapproval. I appreciate your view on life and teachings so much. Can you talk more about navigating transitions?
*Note: if you have a question/letter you'd want to share, you can send it to me anonymously here.
-
There’s a sentence from Bernad Shaw I love that says: Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
Transitions are in between places that provide us with very little answers and a lot of discomfort. The other thing that transitions do is highlight our ambivalence. Our own unique multiplicity. The desire and longing for change, the excitement for the new while also feeling fear and scared of what we don’t know and can’t control. It’s never an easy task for us to hold all these multiple things at once.
Navigating a change can be very vulnerable because it points us to who we are and what we want. It pins us down in the unknown and it forces us to release control. Here is where the feelings of doubt, fear, perfectionism, impostor can surface. This is a natural reaction to what we have integrated and learned since we were little. If we were overly criticized at home throughout our childhood, it might be extra hard for us to gather some of the strength to face a transition. We can feel as if we are being monitored, evaluated, measured every step of the way and this can definitely feel like a heavy burden to carry.
Be gentle with these parts of yourself. Let them feel held and let them express themselves, below I will give you some reflections for it.
If we are willing to and feel supported, undoubtedly, transitions can bring us closer to ourselves especially to the parts that feel a bit more vulnerable, judged, criticized. At the end of the day, it really isn’t about the job, the city, the relationship, the age. It really is about moving closer to who we are, to become intimate with ourselves. And, in my opinion, if there’s one thing we want to get out of this life is the feeling of being relaxed with who we are, taking up all the space we want/need, showing up being who we are even if it’s incomplete, lacking something, messy, complicated.
This is exactly when we become larger in size. A bit more spacious. It’s in these moments that we can expand our internal space to contain different interests, emotions, questions, pursuits - our multiplicity without feeling at war with ourselves.
When I get too much in my head, especially in a moment of transition, I like to think that life isn’t a problem to be fixed. Life is a mystery unfolding in front of us. We must leave some room for it to surprise us.
Now, on a more practical side. Transitions tend to feel very overwhelming because of the uncertainty factor added to our vulnerability. Everything can feel big and definitive. I’d try as much as possible to bring things to bite sizes. One foot after the other. Even though the gaze is way up there, far on the horizon, the challenge and the ask is to bring ourselves to this present moment, to this next step. What is the next thing to do? And then the next?
Specifically for career transitions, Mark Nepo has a little visualization that I think could be helpful as well:
Consider a change of vocation you are facing
Consider how your work has helped to define who you are
Close your eyes and think of your work as the glass, and who you are as the water
Meditate on what other kind of work you can pour yourself into
You might want to continue to explore these inquiries:
If I was to make this change, what are the feelings, sensations, mood I’m hoping to feel?
Where in my life right now and with whom or what do I already feel this way?
When I think about this transition and fear shows up, what is the fear telling me?
What happens when I listen and hold the parts of me that are worried or scared?
If I release the age factor and other labels, just for now, how do I feel? What would I do, try, experiment?
With love,
Mariana
MEDITATION RECORDING
A few instructions:
This meditation recording is helping us find our relationship with our inner strength
Find yourself in a quiet place
Sit as you feel most comfortable, you can either use a couch, bed, chair or the ground. Find a posture that helps you stay awake but relaxed
Eyes can be fully closed or you can have your gaze pointed on a point near you on the ground
Take your time to transition back into your tasks
