Q&A + Meditation Recording N.5
a readers question's on belonging to ourselves + embodied practice
Question:
How to continue belonging to oneself in a world that is constantly requiring your attention, demanding your answer, presence, opinion and feeding us so much information all day long. I find myself so exhausted by all of it. Can you talk more about it?
*Note: if you have a question/letter you'd want to share, you can send it to me anonymously here.
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Thank you so much for sharing this. I can’t emphasize how much I’ve been thinking about your words lately.
I really like the beginning of your comment: “How to continue to belong to ourselves?”. Isn’t this one of the biggest truths? We belong to ourselves, PERIOD. And, belonging to ourselves can mean so many different things but finding what that means personally to each of us is one of our life’s journeys. Your words remind us of this feeling we once had or still have but trying to find is what makes it difficult to reconnect with.
This, right here, is one of modern time’s challenges.The capacity to remain with ourselves when the world is pulling us in all different directions. When we cling to our mental states, when we find ourselves moving away from within us to look at what other people are saying and doing. Social media has become an overwhelming reality show, mixed with insta therapy, self help tips, broadcast news etc.
Here’s what we know: This feeling of moving away from our bodies, attending to all the demands of the world, not only the virtual ocean of random information fed by our phones but also just our overthinking, the text messages, the emails, etc. If all of this is done on autopilot, without much observation, presence and attention, it can very easily become a soothing strategy for something that we are not really wanting to feel, face, experience.
If we look at this in a deeper way: when we are feeling pulled in many directions, fragmented, ruminating in our thoughts, overscrolling. This actually can be an indication that we are probably having a difficult time with an internal experience, we are not able to fully inhabit ourselves and we are using these tendencies to disassociate, soothe, repress.
Anxiety may be the name we give to what is unresolved, unfelt and unseen in us - Sara Bryan
Often this feeling you are describing which is very valid and real and I share it with you, can also be talking about a part of us or multiple parts that are engaging, clinging to all this noise, all this information for some reason that we are not fully able to either name it, be aware of it, and feel it.
So while it’s true and important to contextualize, especially for women running households, that even if you are putting a lot of attention on the way you are relating to the world, it’s still very demanding, very fast paced, very unforgiving, very loud. However, we want to cultivate a sense of power, choice, integrity when it comes to how we are allowing these different things to pull us away from what is important to us, from who is important to us, from ourselves.
There’s a quote that says: "And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, "This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this! And each day, it's up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, "No. This is what's important" - Lain Thomas
I believe this relationship with the world is an ongoing field of exploration for all of us.Those who are able to notice this distancing from themselves are, in fact, closer than what they assume they are. This is a process that will be very related to what is happening in our lives at any given moment. Are you feeling anxious and using social media to distract? Are you worried about something and feel you are constantly texting? Are you feeling stuck in life and scrolling helps you to gain a sense of motion? Are you avoiding something in your life right now? Are you feeling a sense of uncertainty and rumination is a way to soothe?
Pairing this deep investigation to when we feel far away from ourselves, we need to discover how/when we can set up boundaries, routine changes, new agreements to start creating a sense of space. For each of us it will be different, we need to allow ourselves to explore what that looks like for us. Some days will feel more spacious and possible, some other days, probably when we are more contracted by stress, difficult emotions, circumstances we’ll notice the displacement into the outside world.
More than a burden, let this be an invitation for you to look within yourself to find new ways you want to show up in the world. A way that is personal to you. Possible for you.
Thank you for sharing something I’m sure all of us are contending with.
MEDITATION RECORDING
A few instructions:
The meditation below is one that helps us return to our bodies as a doorway to befriend what is here, inside of us, right now.
Find yourself in a quiet place
Sit as you feel most comfortable, you can either use a couch, bed, chair or the ground. Find a posture that helps you stay awake but relaxed
Eyes can be fully closed or you can have your gaze pointed on a point near you on the ground
Take your time to transition back into your tasks
Next month’s free meditation gathering will be on September, 29th. More info here.
