I learn by going wherever I have to go -Theodore Roethke
a reflection on 2023
Hello, there!
This newsletter is coming a bit later in the month. As the July newsletter, this one will be a few reflections I’ve been circling around.
1- Our unconscious is not only made of what we repress, of what we hide from fear, disapproval, or shame. The often called, shadows, can also be a creative force, a guide to show us where we want to grow, how we want to be curious and what wants to let us know. Our unconscious also has the capacity to show us how we can integrate, by allowing these parts of us to express, to be known, to be held. The work of allowing for what is unconscious to become conscious is a slow, gradual, liberating and powerful process.
2- If this year showed me one thing is the value of friendship. I think I mentioned this before in different ways, but I want to say it again: our friends are like air, like a ground, a hand, a hug. We live in a crisis that celebrates the individual race, the burnout, the isolation because we are EXHAUSTED and taking care of friendships can take work however it should be a priority. Romantic relationships have become the central value of our societies, where everything happens there, as if we are looking for a sense of completion in one unique relationship. Don’t overlook your friendships, don’t just give them the rest of the rest. Cultivate them, take care of them. Friends are a gift.
3- Speed is different from direction. A lot of people are running, going really fast to crash or getting nowhere. It’s okay if what you are walking towards is a slow reveal, knowing the direction you are going in a fast paced world is something to be celebrated not to be dreaded.
4- If it takes 5 minutes, just do it. Sometimes we spend longer avoiding the things in front of us than actually doing them. I know we are tired, overworked, overwhelmed but if there are things we can take out of our way, the best option is to do it. The relief is greater than the angst of procrastinating it.
5- “My soul is much larger than me” - Shira Erlichman. I’m making a point everyday when I wake up to sit with this notion and to remind myself of this truth. For me, what this looks like is: sinking in the fact that life is a mystery and I'm part of it. My soul knows what needs to be, do, feel. When I’m reminded that my soul is larger than me, it is as if I can allow myself to be held, to be with life in a different way, like an open palm facing up rather than a tight fist white knuckling through life.
6- This year I learned more about humbleness than probably never before. To look into the world with humble eyes is probably one of the hardest things to sustain. To not assume anything about anyone, to not think their problem is smaller than my problem, to not criticize the way they make their decisions, it takes responsibility and it brings a kind of freedom that disentangles us from the prepotency that “I know better”. Deep inside we are aware that it is much easier to “fix or control” other people’s lives than our own. So, when we release this false sense of power the arrow turns back to us. To our own vulnerable, sometimes confused, hurt self. To be humbled makes us see in everyone, including ourselves, our humanity.
7- We are living in EXTREMELY difficult times. It makes us want to curl up into a ball and be constantly contracted. A radical stand can also be to allow the moments of happiness, contentment, joy, laughter, vibrancy to be present, to exist without justification and to be shared. It is one of the only ways we can survive these times. Allow yourself to vibrate high, to belong to something bigger than suffering.
8- The psychoanalyst Winnicott, whom I often quote here, said something that I find myself thinking about a lot: “It’s a joy to be hidden, but a disaster to not be found”. If we boil down to the core, this is it: we are all wanting to be seen and loved but oh! so scared of it. This is when hiding, as a form of defense, serves us as protection. We all have reasons to do so, based on our own traumas and attachments. It makes me think about how impactful it is when we see people walking in the world being who they are, fully themselves, this creates an effect on other people to feel safe being who they are, as well. It is as if we can collectively help and support each other to be found!
9- To love life is also to love the bad days, the struggling hours, the difficult weeks, the challenging seasons. To love life is to love living.
10- Every end of the year I reserve a moment in December to look back and journal a few reflections. Here’s my post from last year with a few questions to help if you feel like doing something similar or create your whole new ritual around it.
I hope you have a restful break,
See you in 2024!
with love,
Mariana
1- Erza’s Klein conversations seem to be the one space for nuanced and productive reflection. I really appreciated this one and this one.
2- The benefits of underperforming
3- One of my dearest teachers, Lama Rod talking about his new book. New Saints
4- Sampha is back and more incredible than ever.
5- Uf, this conversation with Nick Cave at On being.
7- “We are sedating women with self care”
8- This book! Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life. Here’s an interview with the author
9- Rebecca Solnit on slowness as a Superpower
10- This documentary on Tom Jobim and Elis Regina, the Brazilian Iconic Musicians
Some of you have asked me more about how my individual sessions are, so here’s a brief description:
I see my work as a bridge between the psychological and the contemplative worlds. Together, during the sessions, there’s space for talking, sharing, reflecting, and somatic practices: breathing exercises, guided meditations and visualizations that are according to what is coming up to each client. There’s a lot of unveiling, releasing, grounding happening held in a space of compassion. Together we work towards a slow and spaciousness integration.
If you need more information, you can find it here:
Private Sessions: One-on-One Contemplative Psychotherapy Program
Mentorship for New Teachers : One-on-One Mentoring Sessions to Beginner or New Teachers or people who wants additional training
Corporate Programs : Contemplative Program for Companies
-
FREE MONTHLY GATHERING IS BACK IN JANUARY
Friday, January 27, at 9am/pst
In this virtual monthly gathering, I lead a guided meditation and breathing practices. Everyone is welcomed!
To join, visit here
The Thing Is
by Ellen Bass
to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you down like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.
I adored this list! To love life is to love living is relieving something in my heart tonight